thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
