Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
