Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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