The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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