you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
