btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
