that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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