quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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