So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
