youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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