your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
