I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
