is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
