I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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