I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
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I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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