Yo dont text me then not text me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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