Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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