Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
