Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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