I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
