she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she smelled like a LAN party
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
