it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize