the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
