You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
