Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
