put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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