i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
