Already got asked if we're dating
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
