I'm pants shitting drunk right now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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