i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize