for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
