brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
