Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
