just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
