Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
