you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize