he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
