left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize