I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
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Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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