Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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