I looked at my own cervix.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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