..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
