can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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