My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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