He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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