We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
