About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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