she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize