I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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