that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
