it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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