can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
