Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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