I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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